WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? Or Increase Your Online Sensitivity

One of my dear and senior clients sends his emails all typed in uppercase or capital letters, perhaps not realizing the internet standard for shouting is all uppercase (although I am not sure who invented that standard). Unbeknown to me, one of my younger staff members received several emails for this client thinking the client may have been unhappy and is “yelling” at him. An interesting conversation followed with each one of them as I was trying to bridge the generational gap.

Although we all live in a diverse world offline, the internet has connected people online in ways that allow us to interact with other people we may or may not meet in person. Some may make the assumption that all internet users use technology the same way as we do to communicate. This assumption needs to be examined more closely so we become aware of the need to be sensitive online as we may already be in our “offline” world. There are cultural, generational and gender differences among people—not to mention the all-important difference of technological awareness, exposure and capability that affects how people use and interpret the internet.

On Facebook—one of the most popular social networking sites—it is easy for people to connect with friends, colleagues and clients so they may stay in touch. It is quite common for people to change their online status and to comment frequently about what they do at the moment. I find the phenomena of mundane comments such as: “I am having breakfast”; or “going to workout”; or “it’s time to go to sleep” not only silly, but somewhat obnoxious, a waste of brain cells, digital ink and Internet energy.

Some time ago, I actually used my status on Facebook to post a simple yet provocative question: “I am wondering why are most so addicted to these silly status messages and who out there really cares?” I did get several replies. Some on Facebook and some in my private email. Some were nice and tried to explian their position yet others suggested I don’t get it. I’ve come to realize that many (perhaps those fitting the friendly stalker mindset personality) love to read what others are doing, spend much of their time following others and also use it to find out where to hang out with their friends. Moreover, some love to see pictures of others and often request you post them when you attend events. My personal preference is to post and read helpful, valuable thoughts and tips and even watch good quality entertaining moments. Since I speak, write and consult on this topic, I do make a strong attempt to be aware of those online differences so I may communicate effectively with others.

So whether it is the realization that uppercase emails do not necessarily mean the person is yelling at us, I also realize the important fact that it is often impossible to interpret the sender’s voice intonation in emails. I suggest we recognize that even or especially online some are introverts and some extroverts and there are many behavioral styles and preferences. I am respectful of people’s Right to Interact, Right to Surf, and Right to Post. Yet as I recently wrote on one of my Twitter posts: “You are right. I only pay attention to the brilliant stuff, the other I have learned to ignore. Now what was it that you said?”

© Chad Barr 2009. All rights reserved.